This ain’t no sham

“This ain’t no sham. I am what I am.”

We’re big Mumford and Sons fans in this household: I bought their first album a month after Lily was born, so she’s been listening to them practically her whole life. Given that I was a kindergarten teacher before having my own children, you could say I’d already had my fill of kiddie music, and I’ve conditioned my little ones to appreciate good music and save my sanity in the long run.

Anyway, the newest album hasn’t left our car in a long while, and the other day we’re driving along on our way to preschool and I hear Lily start to sing “this ain’t no sham, I am what I am….” in her cute little off key toddler voice. And I froze for a second. Like, froze and teared up and started thinking deeply second.

It’s funny how a simple little lyric can knock you in the face sometimes: I’d probably heard it a hundred times before, but it was the mixture of where I am right now in life combined with the words coming from my little girl’s voice that made for a powerful realization. Here is my three year old who can sing those words with utmost sincerity because she is living in a way that is truly her own. She walks around all day long patting herself on the back for successes and giving self affirmations to herself in the mirror. She is unaware of people’s perceptions or opinions of her personality or appearance (hence the refusal to wear pants and insistence on wearing wings and antenna). She is always herself because she doesn’t know of any way else to be .

Yes, as parents it is our job to help her to see just how her actions can have an impact on others and that there are ways to be considerate while being herself, but I’m praying that we can do that in a way that preserves the self assuredness that she carries around. Truthfully, it’s the fact that she feels no need to apologize for who she is that makes me so incredibly proud and envious of her at the same time. Here I am as her mother, trying to teach her the ways of the world, and yet it’s me who can learn so much. As I’ve been struggling with self doubt and insecurity, she’s been out there just doing her thing and loving herself, which is really what God intended for all of us, right?

So, if you followed all that rambling (and thanks for that), the point is that it’s time to embrace my inner 3 year old, allowing myself to just be me instead of letting fear of opinions and rejection suck the joy out of life, and I hope this post gave you a little encouragement to do the same.

PINPINPIN